jboogie724 (jboogie724) wrote in anastaystrong,

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My struggle

I've always had a problem with my weight.  I'm 6'1, so naturally I've always been bigger than the rest of the girls I hung out with, which always made me depressed, which always made me eat.  Before I knew it, I was a senior in high school, and weighed 260 lbs.  I went away to college and lost 60 lbs., and over the past 2 years, I've gained 30 back.  I can't even look in the mirror without being completely disgusted with myself.  My issues with food have just recently hit me.  I joined a gym, and tried to stop eating.  I would go a day without eating, but then I would break and eat something, and whatever it was, I ate a lot of it.  That's when purging came into the picture.  I need to be thin.  I have a wonderful fiance, but I truly feel that while he loves me, he's not attracted to me.  His screen saver on his computer is pictures from Maxim or FHM magazine, of beautiful celebs like Jessica Alba or Brooke Burke.  I want to look like them.  I want him to want me again.  He'll love me more if he knows that other men look at me.  I went out last night and bought tons of green tea, and I've been drinking it ever since.  It's true that it curbs your appetite!  I'm going to the gym after work today, where I'll step on the scale for the first time in two weeks.  Please wish me luck, if I gained any weight I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Hope everything is going great for everyone else.  You're all beautiful ladies!  Think Thin!  xoxo
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